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Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person, is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
-Dennis Wholey

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Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
-George Carlin

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Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
-Samuel Licktenburg

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People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
-Isaac Asimov

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How to make God laugh: tell Him your future plans.
-Woody Allen

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A RECESSION is when a neighbor loses a job, DEPRESSION is when you lose yours.
-Ronald Reagon

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Try to be like the turtle-- at ease in your own shell.
-Bill Copeland

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The caterpiller does all the work,
but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
-George Carlin

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Funny Quote:
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
-Jane Wagner



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